This review will probably be short because I haven’t done one in a while. The movie that I’m reviewing is Your Highness, starring James Franco, Danny McBride, and Natalie Portman. This was one of the biggest pieces of crap I’ve seen in a while. The cast was terrible, writing was tasteless, and jokes were poorly executed. This movie doesn’t go anywhere close to being even remotely funny.
The plot is very ill conceived, but I’ll give a basic synopsis. The story is about two brothers who happen to be princes of a kingdom. Franco, as you can imagine plays the brother who gets all the glory and the girls. McBride plays the easily conveyed jealous brother who wants attention. As Franco is about to be married, an evil warlock steals his bride, thus starting the quest to save her. Along the way the run into fights with monsters, meeting hot half naked girls, and masturbating a puppet that looks like Toad from the Mario game series on acid.
The writing was poor; it made me sick at some points. It was just one bad dick joke after dick joke. It got to the point where McBride strings a Minotaur penis around his neck like a medallion. The writers attempt to bring some good feel hearty moments when McBride confesses of his jealousy to Franco. To put it plainly, it was boring.
I hardly ever noticed that Portman was there, other than the times that she would go for a very bad English accent. Even though she is and Oscar winner, I believe that many would agree that at least 70% of her work is straight up bad. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Black Swan the first time I saw it, second time, not so much. I firmly believe that if it weren’t for Franco’s looks, he wouldn’t be in show business. You can look at most of his previous work, and find out for yourself.
I wouldn’t recommend this movie to anyone, even if you’re a thirteen year old who thinks dick jokes are the best thing in the world, don’t watch this. I was relieved when this movie was over. A 0.5 out of 5 and that’s being generous.
